child knows whats best

Children Don’t Know What’s Best for Themselves!

I think there is one concept that – if adopted as FACT by us parents – will make parenting a lot easier. And that is this: Children really don’t know what’s best for them!

For some reason, someone started a rumor somewhere that babies know what’s best for themselves. This rumor was based on the fact that, even from babies, we know what we want.

Kids know what they want and they know what they think they don’t want. They have opinions and they want you to know them. This happens long before they can talk. But there are some areas where children need to be guided; some areas where this plays out are:

Sleeping Habits

From an early age, babies will fight sleep if we don’t orient them in the right direction. There will come a time when your baby will just fight sleep. Then – long before they are old enough to drop naps – they’ll try to stop napping.

Then at bedtime, they’ll stall and talk and linger and ask for water and do any manner of things to postpone bedtime. Why? Because they don’t want to sleep. Do they understand that sleep is good? No. Do they understand how desperately we’d like to have naptime and an 8pm bedtime? No.

They are too young and immature (not in the negative sense, but in the sense that they are not yet mature) to understand how important sleep is for their brain, mood, and overall development.

Sleep is an area early on where a parent will have to know deep inside that what they do is for their child’s best interest and when they try to convince us otherwise – not to relent. Need help with sleeping kliek hier.

Eet

Dinnertime can be a battlefield in some houses. You make dinner, they don’t want it. You bake some fish sticks, they decide they want a banana. You give them a banana, and then they don’t want it anymore.

Even from birth some newborns just want to snack a minute here or two and stop. Toe 30 minutes later do it again. Some parents don’t mind this, but this would have made me crazy after a month and the newborn euphoria wears off.

When they’re older they may start refusing to eat at all if you let them. Or, if they don’t love it they’ll take a bite or two and beg to get down. This is when a mother learns to balance cooking things that taste good with things that are healthy.

It really shouldn’t be that complicated. Make food, let them eat it. If they don’t, let them wait until the next meal. Your kids won’t die by not eating all of their food for one meal. This way you can figure out their actual preferences versus their attempts to use mealtime to assert their growing independence.

Health and Hygiene Practices

Toddlers don’t innately know that walking into the road is bad or that playing with knives is dangerous. Some kids would never take a bath if you didn’t make them and stay pooping in their pants if they could.

Kids have opinions and desires – which we’ve agreed is a good thing – but these opinions and desires must be tempered by your wisdom and care.

And this is the time when we enforce certain things on our children not out of an attempt to dominate, but out of an attempt to teach them the things that come naturally to us, but that they don’t yet know. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about that! Need help with potty training

Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about that! Need help with potty training kliek hier.

Delayed Gratification (Self-Control)

One thing that children (and adults) are not good at is delaying gratification (self-control). Kids want to play first and do work later… if they feel like it. Working for something and getting rewarded later is difficult.

Let’s face it, it’s difficult for us grown-ups too. maar, I assure you, it is a quality that will pay your children dividends for the rest of their life if you work this right. You will teach patience, hard work, saving, prioritizing time, ens. Natuurlik, they’ll fight it. That is to be expected. maar, the more you delay gratification for them and the more you implement things into your parenting that build this level of self-control in children the more natural it will become for them. Behavior is centered on self-control. Need help with your kiddo’s behavior kliek hier.

YOU Know What’s Best!

When it comes to life skills, children need to be guided. It is like I always tell my clients, would you expect your child to learn calculus by themselves or be taught how to do so by their teacher. I don’t think any of these life skills is much different. Children don’t know what is best for themselves.

Some may be asking themselves, “So what don’t you guide?” That’s simple… I don’t guide play. That’s it! I let their imagination run wild!

The goal is to shower our children with love, fun, and attention while doing what is ultimately best for them. This doesn’t ever mean no cheat days (sweets, missed naps, or late bedtimes). It also doesn’t mean we don’t listen to their opinions, desires, or preferences.

It does mean, egter, that we know that the buck stops with us and that it’s our job as parents to think long-term. We want to SET OURSELVES UP FOR SUCCESS and do what’s best for them, nie om them.